trying not to be a failure

so i ended up going to david's place on monday, and i ended up staying all the way until friday morning, when i had to leave for work and he had to leave for the airport. so now he's back in oregon and i won't be seeing him again until tuesday or wednesday. which sucks.

i had my meeting with elizabeth and krystal. apparently i have to have all of the cleaning done by noon. that's THREE HOURS to clean up after about THIRTY FIVE rabbits! (not possible.) so now i have to starting going in at 8 instead of 9 (waking up up at 6. yay.) and working super fast. (might need more stimulants.) also, we're changing shifts. i'll be working sunday, monday and tuesday. the shelter is closed on monday, so i don't have to get done by noon, and tuesday is generally less busy than the weekend.

i have to get better or else i'm in trouble. i'm still not very employable, and have nowhere to go if i'm not.

...

so i've been wanting to post pictures, and since i am mentioning my work, i might as well share some of the pictures i've taken of some of the bunnies. these were taken in october and november of last year:

nicholas

rachel - adopted

stardust

d'artagnon

temperance - adopted

javelin - adopted

roger - adopted

taylor (left) went home with that cute little netherland dwarf

rain

hans

bunnie and clyde

cyrano

i am a failure at life

i don't want to write about what is going on with krystal (the other animal care person at my work) and elizabeth (my boss.) i don't want to because it keeps going through my head and i'm just sick of it and i really want it to stop. i also really want to see david, because seeing him always makes me feel better, but i can't. i don't know when i'll get to see him again, because he is studying for his finals and he said he didn't know when he wanted me to come over again. he's leaving on friday and i really wanted to spend some time with him before he left. i'm going to miss him and i'm already missing him because i haven't seen him since wednesday. and that's long enough to start missing him.

i'm so depressed. i've spent most of the day laying in bed, either half asleep or crying.

so krystal is complaining that i'm not getting enough work done before the day that she goes in, and this time she complained to elizabeth. yesterday, i worked hard and to the point that my entire body was in extreme pain. i really really didn't want to give up my ride home to stay after and get all of the extra things done. now she says that i "only do the bare minimum of the basic chores" which isn't even true. i don't have the time or energy to do more than i've been doing.

now i am certain (before i was just unsure) that elizabeth doesn't like me, and i'm so scared of her that i want to cry, even right now, even though i don't have to see her again till friday.

i wish so bad that i could talk to someone, but david is the only one i can talk to.